To be compensated for a job well done is the expectation and feels wonderful if the compensation is equal to or above the deemed rate for the job. Compensation can mean different things. Here we are talking about using COMPENSATION as a coping skill. Utilizing compensation skills can be a positive skill, in that one is making up for a weakness in one area by excelling in another area. This works well, especially if the excelling area is one with high reward and diminishes the feelings connected to a failure. It doesn’t work very well if the excelling area is one with little to no reward, and the feelings of failure linger.

Let’s say your teenager wasn’t captain for his/her soccer team…. and though that really bothered him/her, they compensated for those feelings by being class president. At home one might not be very good at cooking but the house is immaculately organized and clean. In the work environment, a salesman might not be very good at talking to people in person, but will have the highest phone/Internet sales then anyone else on the team.

Where compensation can be harmful is where there is little to no reward for the compensation and feelings of failure linger. As well, it can be harmful when one needs to excel, do well, or hold attention to an action/ task that they aren’t successful in. For example, when a partner in a marriage can’t relate or interact well with the other partner…. they go to someone else they feel they can relate to, or interact with. This sets up for a rocky marriage. In a job setting a person doesn’t do well in interacting with their boss, but does do well in computer work and Internet interaction. The work doesn’t get completed and interactions are strained.

How do you utilize compensation in your life? We all do to a certain extent. This is shown by the choices in life that we have; whether it is through career choice, hobby choice, relationships choices, and other choices. Are there areas in which your compensation is hurting those around you or harming your career? Utilize compensation to your benefit, own up to those areas that are a weakness, and make choices to improve on those as best as you can.

…..more coping skills to come.