The next coping skills is one that distorts ones own thinking. This one is RATIONALIZATION. This is where one makes excuses for their actions or feelings. If you do this often enough you soon don’t know what is really true, you make yourself believe that your actions are always RIGHT in that you will fix your thought process to make sure that this is the case. There is no owning up to faults, accidents, or even misunderstandings through this type of utilization. Or rather I should say when it is used too much.

For example, someone calls in sick to work as they are teeing it up on the golf course and thinks “that is ok that I called in sick, their are plenty of other salesmen in the office”. The action is dishonest, plain and simple; doesn’t really matter if others are there to cover the office or not. A student copies the answers to a test from a classmate, he/she figures it’s no big deal because it wasn’t a major test. In the office there are some rules deemed insignificant by yourself, you break them and think nothing of it, because they are petty – rules were still broken. Over time this can make for a conflictual relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a positive side to rationalization. Rationalization can be helpful if you’re trying to not feel bad about someone’s actions before you know if there is anything to feel bad about. (See posting “Filling in the BLANKS“). Even something as simple as getting cut off in traffic….you could rationalize that the person could be having a really bad day, late for work, has to get to the hospital…. Something more personal, could be that your best friend said that she would call you tonight and 2 nights later there is not call. You could get mad or rationalize that she has a lot going on right now and her not calling has no reflection on the relationship. Also in the workplace, your boss may have said nothing to you upon your “good morning”; you could rationalize that he/she has a lot on his mind and you’ll catch up later in the day.

Whatever way you rationalize situations, they may make you feel temporarily better. They are still situations that you’ll feel best about when the truth is out or at least your theory is verified. Rationalization is a temporary fix to a feeling. If you utilize rationalization too often, you start to loose the truth behind who you are and how you feel.

…..more coping skills to come.